Bullying, conflict and being hurt.

By Dr Barbara Louw


Memory Infographic 01

This infophafic illustrates how memory is impacted by the trauma of bullying.

People seem to minimize the impact of bullying by saying it is just a little conflict or squabbling between two parties. The reality is that bulling is controlling behaviour where there is a power imbalance.

In bullying, this imbalance starts with a perception of being ‘superior’ over someone who seem to be ‘inferior’, in one or many ways. This perception can come from elevated social status, being physically larger, older, and more popular. Deep-rooted causes include jealousy and bitterness. People who bully perceive their target as a weak, vulnerable coward. The bully seem to find some satisfaction in hurting, harming and humiliating someone else.

On the other hand, conflict is a disagreement or argument in which both sides can express their views. There is a measure of normal self-regulatory behaviour and equal power between the individuals. This means that conflict is a normal part of human communication that can surface from time to time as people interact. In this interaction allows adjustment of behaviour when the line of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour is crossed. People can modify their actions and words when they realize that they are hurting someone and will usually stop the hurtful behaviour.

Bully behaviour surfaces when someone intents to cause harm, pain and humiliation. This intentional to harm and hurt goes beyond normal conflict, because the bully continues the behaviour even (or especially) when they know their misbehaviour is hurting someone.

Conflict is a natural part of human communication and allows people to grow and change. However, no one deserves to be bullied, because bullying is meant to cause pain and humiliation.

Our Stop Bullying campaign focusses on finding solutions that will work in every unique situation. This includes raising public awareness via our social platforms with free resources and presenting an online workshop. We present talks, seminars and tailor made workshop for specific school and/or churches.

Aquilla Training presents the ‘Addressing Bullying” online workshop starts on 15 April 2019.

This workshop is launched on a set date and remains available for a period of at least a year.

The most important benefit of the online workshop is that it you complete it at a time and pace that is convenient for you. You register on the website, choose your topic and after the payment process you can start with the workshop.

You can work through the material in one sitting or at your expediency, as long as you complete all the elements within 60 days from registration. Once completed, the workshop certificate will be ready to download.

The online workshop programme include:

  • Definitions and types of bullying.
  • Explanation who will require help from the pastoral counsellor.
  • Frequency of bullying in schools, churches, families and the community.
  • Role players in the prevalence of bullying.
  • Warning signs and effect of bullying.
  • Intervention and the educator/parent/counsellor’s role in the healing process.

More information about the Addressing Bullying Online Workshop.